only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
