dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
