As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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