I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
