If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
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"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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