never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We are two peas in an std pod
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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