You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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