i don't like sucking hair
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
