The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
