batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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