I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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