Taylor Swift is so right about you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
