Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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