How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my being single is dangerous.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
