He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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