I think I died a long time ago.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
