so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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