I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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