you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
