i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
