He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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