He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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