i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
