No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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