ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
