i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
