i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
we should paint friendship bongs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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