Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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