Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize