So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
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I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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