i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
