I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Small penises have feelings too.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
