You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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