Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
