I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
