I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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