Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
