I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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