none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
