Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
