vagina is talking i cant
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
