I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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