He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
