Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
