I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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