More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
