she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
