you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(