heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
