My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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