Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
my poor anus
Randomize
