I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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