i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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