i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
