He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
