It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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