She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
