How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
