So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.