return my video game
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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