He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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