he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
