He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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