I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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