I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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