she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
