can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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