he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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